Please watch her very funny video first. Here goes:

I have gathered 3 funny but serious Lessons:

“May be he died.”

As Julie Kim rightly pointed out, when a first date didn’t work out we tend to blame the other person, but never ourselves.

The above words – “May be he died” – were said by Julie Kim to illustrate how we put the failure to get a second date on the other person. In her case, the guy obviously died and so couldn’t call for a second date. It’s so logical!

The dating game has changed dramatically from the time I was pursuing my wife about 30 years ago.

When I was ‘dating’ my wife there was no World Wide Web or the Internet. We were separated by the huge South China Sea, a distance of about 2,500 km. There was no Facebook, or Instagram or WhatsApp. So I wrote a letter to her every day for 3 years. I think I wrote over a thousand letters. The stamps cost alone could have bought me a new iPhone X. But it was worth the investment.

Ok back to the present and Julie Kim.

I see, so you don’t have much success in getting a second date? I think what you can learn from Julie Kim is that when you are funny, your date night will be more interesting and will help you get a second date.

In addition, ask questions, let your date talk. That way you’ll appear more intelligent. And you’ll say less silly things.

Be nice to other people. Greet the doorman. You’re appreciative. Smile and say ‘Hi’ to some people sitting at the next table. You’re polite. Be nice to the waiter. You’re caring.

Finally, If you’re the guy, pick up the tab. You’re a gentleman worth a second date.

Oh, you don’t want a second date with this person? And you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feeling? Here’re some helpful breakup lines:

 “It’s not you, it’s me. I just need to stop dating losers.”

“My cat doesn’t like you.”

“Sorry, I can’t go out with you again. I have to go into rehab.”

If you’re a woman. “My ex-boyfriend who I was in love with but wouldn’t marry me is now sick and probably dying and wants me back and I can’t say no.”

The Perfect Date?

Two single women meet for coffee. They start talking about the men they’re dating.

The first woman says she’s not seeing anyone special.

The second woman says she’s very excited about a guy she’s been dating for a month.

“Last night we went out for dinner, and afterward he said those 4 words I’ve been waiting all my life to hear from a man.”

“Will you marry me?”

“No. ‘Put your money away.’”

Why do you not look like your Facebook profile picture?

Julie Kim hilariously pointed out that we don’t look like our Facebook profile picture.

This is how you look in your Facebook profile picture
This is how you look in your Facebook profile picture
This is how you look in reality
This is how you look in reality

Do you look like your Facebook profile picture? Come on, be honest! Well, it’s subjective actually. You see, how you look in the morning when you wake up is definitely different from how you look going to a wedding reception. But both are still you. Being sensible you’ll choose your best photo to use as your profile picture unless you are auditioning for a Charlie Chaplin’s play.

Do you photoshop your picture? A taller you? A slimmer face? A lighter skin tone? Fewer wrinkles? Nah, forget about that. All your friends know what you look like unless you want to make them laugh.

Ah, you photoshop because you are looking for a date. Facebook is not a good platform. Everyone on Facebook knows you. Instead, go to or Even then, use your real photo or a photo that actually looks like you most of the time, otherwise, imagine on a first date, the first sentence your date will say is: “Er you don’t look like your profile picture.” Awkward!

But of course, choose the best one. After all, all those glamorous models on a magazine covers get great photoshop touch-up.

Q:  How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house?

Julie Kim navigated a sensitive subject with self-deprecating jokes. I thought that was wonderful because I believe we should all have the ability to laugh at ourselves.

So, if you are a Chinese how would you react to this joke?

Q:  How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house?

A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.

This joke received 1,852 votes and 80% liked it! No racial background of voters was given. That’s fine. It seems to show that more people can laugh at themselves. That’s a good thing.

Me? I laughed good on this one! (By the way, I am a Chinese, with chinky eyes)

How Long is a Chinese man
How Long is a Chinese man

Why? For 2 reasons. One, there will always be haters. These are people who are spiteful because of other people’s culture and skin color. I believe we win over their hatred when we do not react to their negative remarks. I say, “Laugh and move on.”

Second, Remember Rule Number 6. Please read here!

Q: How do you know if Asians are moving into the neighborhood?

A: The Mexicans start buying car insurance.

Ha ha ha!


How do they name Chinese babies?

They throw silverware down the stairs until they hear something they like.

Ha ha ha!


And this is my best Chinese joke ever. It was told to me by a white friend. He said, “How long is a Chinese man.”

“Er, … I don’t know”.

“What is there not to know. I just told you, How Long is a Chinese man.”

“Yeah? … Oh! … How Long is a Chinese man.

For more of Julie Kim the comedian, join her facebook here. Friend request to JuliE kiM, the stand up comedian.

Hi, my name is Song. Thanks for visiting Please come again!



So, can you take a joke poking fun at your culture or color? share your thoughts below

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